Rating: R, badwords!
Fandom/Pairing: Final Fantasy 8 Seifer/Squall
Theme: Five firsts – first love
Disclaimer: Squareenix owns these boys, I make no claim
First love, true love .
He awoke to the realisation that he was in love with Squall. He probably had been all the time, in fact, but he chose to notice it as he opened his eyes one morning with his nose buried in Squall’s hair and his arms wrapped tightly around Squall’s waist.
Squall was still asleep as he pulled back carefully, watching his sometimes brother, sometimes lover but perpetual rival scowl faintly at the loss of warmth. He’d always been the same, even when they’d been forced to share the same bed as kids.
“I love you,” he whispered to the closed eyes, the pale lips and the dark lashes resting on smooth, unblemished skin. He knew he had no hope of saying it aloud when the younger boy was awake because Squall just wouldn’t – or couldn’t – love him back. He didn’t know which for sure and he wasn’t entirely sure he cared either. He simply knew it as thoroughly as his gunblade.
So he would keep to the pretence that he’d been hiding behind since he’d first realised that Squall was in fact beautiful and downright fuckable. He’d keep challenging the boy and pretending that the sex was just a reward for beating him. And he’d try not to notice that Squall didn’t feel for him what he felt for Squall.
He was sure that falling in love should have been easier than this. He was sure that there was something he could do to make Squall love him. But in the mean time he’d keep challenging and pushing the smaller boy just as he always had.
That was the only way he knew to express his love. To fight, fuck and make Squall come alive, as he did in those too short moments and brief encounters.
It would do.