Theme: Seven Deadly Sins – Envy
Rating: NC17 overall
Summary: About decisions, right and wrong, and the path they build.
Thanks a lot to Anne for the beta.
We lie on the couch naked afterwards. I'm resting my head on Quatre's shoulder, looking at the ceiling and listening to his heart beat while his fingers curl around my waist. We are still sweaty. Quatre went to the bathroom to clean himself but when he came out he still smelt of me, and I liked it.
I'm sure I smell of him, too.
"I'm glad you came," he says.
"If I hadn't, Catherine would have kicked me out." I try to tilt my head backwards, to see his face, but all I can see is his chin.
"Why?" There's an edge to his voice.
"She got engaged." I pause for two beats. "I wasn't handling it well."
His fingers stop moving and are just resting on my belly. "What do you mean?"
"I hit the guy," I mumble. Catherine gave me hell for it too.
Quatre laughs, his chest vibrating softly beneath me. "He wasn't good enough for her?"
I want to say no, but he was good enough. He made her happy. The truth is that I didn't like to see them together. Seeing them close to each other, talking, laughing… I just couldn't handle it.
Envy, Wufei said. I couldn't be happy for them because they had what I wanted, what I needed.
"Oh." Apparently Quatre doesn't need an answer to understand. "I see couples at the bar, holding hands, kissing. Del, the drummer, he says my playing gets melancholic when I see them." I look up and watch his neck move as he swallows. "I don't know how my playing can be melancholic."
It is possible. I've heard him play enough to know. "I'm sorry," I say.
"I didn't say it to get an apology or make you feel bad, Trowa." His arms wrap around my chest. "I just want you to know that I understand."
He always does. "I understand too. That's why I'm sorry."
He remains quiet for a long time. I wait, listening to his heart, feeling his arms around me.
"Do you?" His voice is so soft it's barely a whisper. "I don't know if I can take it, if you leave after this." His fingers press on top of my lips before I can answer. "Think about it tonight, and tell me in the morning."
I turn around and watch him. He holds my gaze and I can see the fear and hope mixed in it. Standing, I hold my hand out to him. "Let's go to bed."
He takes it and lets me guide him into the bedroom.