Rating/Warnings: OK (Oz/Kiwi spelling/grammar etc) – PG – Angst, romance.
Theme: Stages of Grief: Depression
Author's notes: This fic is part of the Tears in Heaven series
Summary: Kevin is contacted by his father with the news that his mother is dying. He and Alex go to see them in the hope that burnt bridges can be rebuilt before it's too late.
Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People belong to Roger Damon Price, Thames/Tetra and ITV television. I promise to return the characters in one piece, more or less, when I'm finished, but hold no liability for any physical injury or psychological trauma sustained by them in my fiction. Alex belongs to Kevin and he's very possessive and overprotective so don't touch or even think about it.
[ ] indicates telepathy.
Thanks to: Linda and Misanagi for beta reading.
They materialised in their living room, Kevin's arms still around Alex. [I'm sorry, love], Kevin apologised. Alex should not have had to see that. It was too much of a reminder of his own mother's reaction, a confirmation of Kevin's fear of what he had done to Alex, what had been taken from him.
Alex shook his head, his fingers caressing Kevin's cheek. [You have nothing to apologise for. I lost my temper.] He looked down. "I've probably made things worse. I know you wanted to build bridges with her, with them. I think I just burnt them all to ashes."
"They did that themselves, my love, before I left." Kevin sighed. "I thought parents were supposed to love their children. I used to think they loved me." He disentangled himself from Alex's embrace. "Maybe she's right. I'm not her son; I don't deserve to be her son. I only wanted them to love me. I failed them and everything changed." Failure wasn't something he could risk again. This time the loss would be too much.
"You didn't fail them, Kevin," Alex protested. "They failed you. Love isn't supposed to come with provisos. Parents love their kids no matter what." He was angry.
Kevin had known taking Alex was a bad idea, but he had desperately needed the support and couldn't have handled arguing about it. Alex had been hurt enough today with the fiasco over Christmas Dinner. Maybe Mrs. MacDonald was right. In the month they had been together, Alex had lost more than he had gained, and Kevin wasn't sure he could ever put things right. They were bonded now, for life, and there was no going back.
"Reality doesn't always mesh with theory, Alex." Kevin shrugged, trying to sound casual. "I'm going to make some tea. Would you like some?" Without waiting for answer, he walked into the kitchen.
"Don't run from me, Kevin. Please."
"I'm not running. I'm making tea." Kevin turned the heat under the kettle, reached for two cups and stopped, staring at them, frozen. His hands were shaking.
Strong arms embraced him, pulling him close, Alex's breath warm against his neck. "It's okay to be upset, love. They hurt you." Kevin shook his head, but said nothing, couldn't bring himself to react. "Everyone makes mistakes, it's what makes us…." He stumbled over the word, "human. Your parents are fallible; they made a big mistake, and in doing so lost something very precious."
[I was the mistake, not them. It's only a matter of time before I do something again and….] Kevin stifled a sob, turned, and buried his head on Alex's shoulder.
"Yes," Kevin whispered. "It's only a matter of time. I love you, Alex, but I make mistakes."
Shaking his head, Alex kissed Kevin gently. "Would you stop loving me if I made a mistake? Of course not. I won't stop loving you. I already told you when we bonded that I knew you weren't perfect. I'm not your parents, Kevin. This will be different. I promise."
"Promise?" Kevin's voice was shaky; in asking he had already betrayed their love, already made his mistake.
"I love you. I promise." Alex tilted Kevin's chin up so their eyes met. "Till Death."