Theme: #4- Intimacy
Fandom: Buffy tVS.
Word Count: 852
Disclaimer:Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Anya tries to get her men to help her with her new business.
Posted at: Written for stagesoflove and posted at my live journal and bloodclaim.
Beta'd by the wonderful kitty_poker1. Thanks so much darlin!
Notes: Umm, yeah. By now y'all know I'm a bit loony so there's no need to warn you about that. I'd just like to remind everyone that this takes place in a weird AU of Season Four so Giles doesn't own the Magic Box as of yet.
“No Ahn! A man has to draw the line somewhere and this is my line!”
“Don't give me those big brown eyes. I'm siding with Xan on this one, luv.”
Anya huffed and stomped her foot. That usually brought her men into line quickly but this time they were being unreasonable and stubborn. “This isn't one of those stupid man issues about the woman bringing in more income than the man -- men -- is it? Because if it is, Barbara Walters did a good piece on it on 20/20 the other night and I can order the transcript for you.”
Xander groaned. “Anya, sweetheart, this is less about you starting up your own business and more about not wanting to strut around in my underwear in front of a bunch of bored, oversexed housewives. Running around in underwear is an intimate sort of thing, not a public thing.”
Anya could see Spike shudder as he leaned up against Xander. “Too right. We'd be lucky to get out of there with our dangly bits intact. It would be like putting two fine pieces of meat in a tank of hungry sharks.”
Xander gave a loud “Hey!” but Anya could see the pleased blush on his face at that comparison so she ignored him. “Please, as if I want my customers bruising the two of you. Then I couldn't play with my toys. I'd make sure all customers would know that you're off limits...perhaps collars or having special Speedos made up with Property of Anya on the back.”
Anya stared off into space for a few minutes, visualizing. She needed a better job, one she could do part time but would bring in a decent amount of money. The answer: Good Vibrations, her own take on the popular Passion Parties. A combination of Avon, Frederick’s of Hollywood and a porn shop. Not only would she be selling things to bored housewives but to gay couples, of which there seemed to be an extraordinary amount here on the Hellmouth, as well as some of the less violent demon element. She'd make a fortune selling vibrators, dildos and restraints, to name just a few of her items.
Especially if she had a model or two. Hunky male models like Spike and Xander. After all, if she liked watching them play together, other people would. Besides, they didn't really have to do anything more than stand there and look pretty.
“Xander! We need an apartment! Spike's crypt is damp and doesn't have cable and I’m living is in a boarding house! And there's no way we can stay in the Harris' basement.”
Anya and Spike shared a look. They were in complete agreement that Xander's parents were a complete waste of space. The only reason they hadn't hired someone to kill them or manipulated a minion vampire into doing it was the fact that Xander still had feelings for them. That didn't mean they were going to let the youngest member in their relationship live with the idiots any longer than they had to.
Anya glanced at Xander and could see he was weakening. Before she could convince him and change his mind, though, Spike put a hand on his shoulder. “Look, luv, you go ahead and start your business. We'll help you with stuff like carrying heavy boxes and other manly duties which don't include strutting around in the altogether. In the meantime, though, since we need the dosh, I'll take the boy out to the desert. There are rumors over at Willie's that a wyvern is making the edge of Sunnydale its home and those bloody things collect gold like Xander collects comics.”
Anya could hear Xander gulp even though she was two feet away. “A...wyvern?”
“Yeah. Things like a small dragon on two legs. No fire breathing but it's got a barbed tail. They collect gold too, but even if it doesn't have that much of a hoard we can sell off the body here in Sunnydale. Hell, ol' Ripper would probably give his eye tooth for just the leg of one of the damned beasts. Their skin makes damn good armor, too.”
Anya tilted her head for a moment. The plan actually made good sense and would let them live very comfortably, for a time at least. She could always invest some of the money; she was good at things like that. “Well...okay. On two conditions. One: you dress up for me after we've moved into the apartment, and two: I get to take pictures. Don't worry, I'll only use the ones without your faces for my catalog.”
Xander opened his mouth, most likely to protest again, but Spike put a hand over it, stopping him. “Deal, luv, and we'll even throw in a strip show.”
Xander pulled Spike's hand away from his mouth. “I'm never going to win between the two of you, am I?”
Anya walked over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Of course not, Xander, but just think of the fun you'll have.”